Michael RourkeHi Max, As a non-performer - I think the song is a good recording and the voice came through strong with good guitar playing.
As a lyric writer - I caught the emotion of loss... and hope (places, far, chase it, scar) (you come off as a bummer, heart broken) Is that your audience?
Chorus - Rhyming (know, don't, need, beats) (who will show you what you need?)
The second verse had the very similar sounding rhyme as the first. (with the 'a' sound) pages, regrets, wasted, say
Bridge - liked the change (what does middle ground mean?)You are in-between loss and hope.
Chorus - repeats
Summation: I know this feeling of loss and longing. Verse 1= a bit frightening with broken bones and scars. (places and too far vague without an image.
I kept wanting a shaft of light for you and for me the listener. Where is the hero? Where is the strong keep going? "Being needy" is that want you want?
I hope this helps. I'm looking for a composer, singer, for my lyrics to sell songs. This is my first time at this forum and at the guild. My ad for collaborator should be here somewhere. Take care Max. You may already be far beyond by now. 9 years ago
Lonnie BudroWow! Was this you singing Max ? And did you play the music ? 9 years ago
James C. TaylorBeats for who. Is their somebody to love standing right in front of you? .Your voice cuts through the noise out there. great presentation. consider being the talent, that gift is reserved for the 'chosen few'. 6 years ago
James C. TaylorVery complex song my simple mind listened again. your firt song on here. You have a cut through voice, a recordable voice. a guy could sing the same song, and only be a songwriter. You are a true Talent. A beautiful complex song. ::Leaves me wanting more. That's what the best songs do. The character builds empathy all the way. I like the 'heart for another and it beats..' You planning to do the song or go for publishing. Great talent, great song. Where do they all come from? 6 years ago
James PorterfieldReally a beautiful recording and an excellent song. Thank you for sharing this.6 years ago