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Hello,
This discussion is meant to attach some sound files for a post I did in the discussion thread titled My song "What Happened to Forever" Peer and Professional...
Anyways, these were two song assignments I did for a songwriting class I took about six months ago. They still need a lot of cleaning up to be even demo quality and need a good singer on it, but feedback would be greatly appreciated too. Again, I apologize for my singing....Thank you.
Tyler
Replies
Tyler Hunt
Intro -> A -> A -> B -> A -> Outro
Key of G Major
A progression: I -> IV -> V
B progression: vi -> iiim7 -> iim7 ->iiim7 (V for B ending back into A)
A1:
G..............................................IV...........V.............
It feels so right I can't complain trying to look away
G...................................IV...................V.............
could you ever feel so much pain nothing gets washed away
G......................................................IV........V.............
I looked at her she looked at me I knew it right from the start
G........................................................IV...................V.............
refrain: You looked just fine I can't complain don't build a hole in my heart
A2:
G....................................................IV........V.............
If this ever feels not just right just go and walk away
but we know its not, how hot its got, lets go and fade away
she's missing me I'm missing her I knew it was gonna be real hard
refrain: but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
B:
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're leaving me empty
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're making me crazy
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're leaving me empty
vi...........................................................................iiim7...iim7......V
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
A3:
G....................................................................................IV...............V.............
right now the drinks are done let's go have fun we're doing everything we should
could you turn to me and say to me you make me feel so damn good
when you're missing me I'm missing you we know it will be real hard
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
outro:
G.........................................................................IV..........V.............
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
Thanks for reading!
Tyler
7 years ago
Key of G Major
A progression: I -> IV -> V
B progression: vi -> iiim7 -> iim7 ->iiim7 (V for B ending back into A)
A1:
G..............................................IV...........V.............
It feels so right I can't complain trying to look away
G...................................IV...................V.............
could you ever feel so much pain nothing gets washed away
G......................................................IV........V.............
I looked at her she looked at me I knew it right from the start
G........................................................IV...................V.............
refrain: You looked just fine I can't complain don't build a hole in my heart
A2:
G....................................................IV........V.............
If this ever feels not just right just go and walk away
but we know its not, how hot its got, lets go and fade away
she's missing me I'm missing her I knew it was gonna be real hard
refrain: but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
B:
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're leaving me empty
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're making me crazy
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're leaving me empty
vi...........................................................................iiim7...iim7......V
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
A3:
G....................................................................................IV...............V.............
right now the drinks are done let's go have fun we're doing everything we should
could you turn to me and say to me you make me feel so damn good
when you're missing me I'm missing you we know it will be real hard
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
outro:
G.........................................................................IV..........V.............
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart
Thanks for reading!
Tyler
7 years ago
James C. Taylor
I'm missing her she's missing me you're leaving me empty
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're making me crazy
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're leaving me empty
vi...........................................................................iiim7...iim7......V
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart Keep on point of view: you start in 1st person, then move to 2nd and 3rd view. you... are you... don't leave me .... 6 years ago
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're making me crazy
vi...............................................................iiim7..........iim7......iim7
I'm missing her she's missing me you're leaving me empty
vi...........................................................................iiim7...iim7......V
but you look so good just like you should don't build a hole in my heart Keep on point of view: you start in 1st person, then move to 2nd and 3rd view. you... are you... don't leave me .... 6 years ago
James C. Taylor
refrain: You looked just fine I can't complain don't build a hole in my heart great you are keeping it direct communication between two people. You are building a great song here. and the sound and your voice are good. You may want to do it one more time with feeling. Be sincere your voice is unique and original. if you do want to use third person, may be a philosophical bridge would fit. Build confidence in your voice. you gotta a unique one.
6 years ago
Kenny Feinberg
Nice tune, good groove and catchy lyric. Maybe try demoing with piano instead of guitar for more clarity and broader score. Practice and study voice. You have a good instrument so keep developing your technique.
6 years ago